Paul Rendleman’s Psycho Friends Network
Call me now. Dinner is in your future.
LINDA, CHICAGO:“She knew I hated cilantro. I never told anyone.”
Kimchi Stew
The spirits were very specific. It is red, it is bubbling, and it is already simmering in your future.
- Three things we foresee
- You will say “just a little.” You will not mean it.
- Someone at the table will ask for seconds. It is you.
- A light sweat is coming. Do not wear silk.
Your stew horoscope
The card has been drawn. It was the only card in the deck. Find your sign and accept your fate.
Fire signs
You will say it isn’t spicy. Your forehead will disagree.
Earth signs
You will guard the tofu. The stars respect this.
Air signs
You will talk through the whole first bowl and taste the second.
Water signs
You will cry. Blame the stew. Nobody will ask questions.
Your free psychic reading
Give the spirits your name and birthday. They will tell you something about dinner.
The spirits are standing by. Fill in the form to connect.
Your tab: $0.00 · 0 readings · Due Saturday: $0.00
Spice-level psychic test
Drag the slider to the heat you can handle. The spirits will judge you.
The spirits sense a cautious eater. They respect it. Barely.
“Friends, I see a table. I see a pot. I see you, reaching across someone for the kimchi. Call me now.”
“She said I’d meet something tall, red and fermented. She was RIGHT.”Caller on line 2
“I called about my love life. I stayed for the tofu.”Caller on hold since 1994
“She knew I was hungry before I did.”First-time caller
*Results not typical. Callers are not actors. They are your friends, which is worse.
How it works
- Show up. Saturday at 7:00 PM, 1941 W Addison St. No touch-tone phone required.
- Get connected. A live psycho will sense your hunger and hand you a bowl.
- Stay on the line. Kimchi stew is served. Your future gets noticeably warmer.
*All bowls are free. We just like how it sounds.
| Our rates | You pay |
|---|---|
| First minute | $0.00 |
| Each additional minute | $0.00 |
| Second bowl of stew | $0.00 |
| Knowing your future | Priceless |
Dial the hotline
Dial 1-900-PSYCHOS on the keypad. An operator is standing by. Rotary phones not supported.
P-S-Y-C-H-O-S is 7-7-9-2-4-6-7.